Wild Flowers and Wild Fires
For the last few weeks, I’ve been traveling with a dear friend and his two daughters (age 6 and 8) on an epic tour to seven countries in Europe. Right now, as I write, I am nestled in a valley in the Swiss Alps, where bright green grasses and wildflowers grow up the sides of massive peaks.
One of the most potent themes on my trip is considering what it means to actually transform. There is something so romantic about transforming ourselves… this sense that our lives will improve once we do. More freedom. More joy. More connection. More money. Better relationships. Vibrant health. These universal things, we all seek to cultivate and grow.
But this year, I’ve been reading Joe Dispenza’s scientific work on transformation. If you haven’t read You Are the Placebo, I highly recommend it. His work has inspired me to confront the default states I live in that keep me from transforming for real.
A default state is the mental, emotional and physical matrix that we hang out in so consistently, we can’t even imagine what’s outside of it, because the range of our imagination is itself bound by this default state.
What are your default states? What are the thoughts, stories, concepts you constantly interpret your experience with? What are the emotions that you consistently feel in your life?
Just like the well trodden hiking trails that have been grooved by human footsteps across these rugged peaks over hundreds of years, our default states have carved the very pathways that our reality can and cannot explore.
For me, one of my default states is enthusiasm. My spiritual teacher once said, “MYKA! You are addicted to happiness.” It was like a koan that my default matrix couldn’t understand. The waters I swim in have such a preference for joyous enthusiasm that I never saw this state as an “addiction.”
I’ve learned (the hard way) that I have a resistance to heavier, darker, emotional states. I want to pull away from them as fast as possible. My well trodden pathway is carved by the concept that feeling sad, depressed, tired, dense energy is a symbol of doing something wrong. Alarm bells sound off in my whole system, “WRONG WAY! OFF TRACK! BAD THING!”
In response to my alarm bells, I rely on another default state of independent, self-sufficiency to figure out what the bad thing is that I’m doing, in order to, get rid of it and go go back to my happy, enthusiasm as quickly as possible. My default is not to sit in the sadness for as long as it wants to visit me, without need to change it or find the cause and culprit.
For some of you, you’ll have exactly the opposite. You’ll tend toward heavy, hopeless feelings, and sit in them for days, weeks, months on end, concluding that someone like you can’t have happiness.
These are but two contrasting examples. There are as many matrixes of default states, as there are people.
Here with my friend in Europe – a wise and deep man – he is inviting me to let the heaviness consume me. To risk allowing the pain to ravage me like a wild, forest fire that can dissolve me completely into something altogether new. He is inviting me to o-p-e-n to letting the Myka I’ve known, die.
And perhaps the less romantic side of transformation?
Who would we become, if we let our familiar default states – which we’ve carefully crafted and molded – burn to ashes? Who will we not become if we don’t?
What does all this mean as entrepreneurs?
I’ve worked with hundreds of women in a deeply intimate container. Each of these women come to WINC’s 90-Day Program with a fire of commitment to learn new business skills that can transform their financial reality permanently.
They also come to the Program with a whole matrix of default states that keep them trapped – just like me – in translating everything through a particular, fixed lens.
The WINC Program is truly magical in that, alongside the business training system I teach, women consistently transform into new mental and emotional versions of themselves.
Joe Dispenza writes, “If you want to transform your life [or your business], you actually have to become someone else.”
(Ummm… this is seriously potent and confronting, if you pause to take in what’s he’s saying…)
Those who transform the most about their life and their business in the Program give themselves to the ravage wild fire that consumes their default concepts/ ideas/ emotions, and lays their landscape bare for a new breed of wild flowers to grow within them.
As my loving witness, I give myself to you, here, now, as a nervous footstep into the furnace of transformation.
This email itself is a burning sensation. I risk laying myself naked at your feet; revealing what I haven’t figured out; welcoming your judgement, aversion, rejection; inviting you to come closer to me, and your Sisters, in these wild fires and wild flowers.
What alchemy this furnace fire will smelt us into, we cannot know. Our very concepts of what we might become – individually and together – are still prisoner to what hasn’t yet been burned.